Friday, September 18, 2009

An Ode to a new friend

She is a new friend... Yes, I have known her only for the past 2 months... She's been my neighbor for almost 1 1/2 years, but we became friends recently. Even though I have been seeing her around for quite a while from my kitchen window, we never got to say hello. And then, we got introduced by another friend in the library. We started meeting more often to chat and for kids to play together. Very soon we were talking or meeting up almost everyday and we became best friends. We also found that we had a lot of similarities in our interests, our past lives and the day-to-day problems we faced, which brought us even closer. I had found "The friend" that I was longing for, from the time I moved to the Bay area. She left to India for a 5 month vacation this morning. I was at her driveway waving bye and wishing her a safe trip and a great vacation when they drove away to the airport. I suddenly felt this heaviness descending into my heart. I felt this void for a friend after a very long time, perhaps first time after 12th standard. I did not feel it even when I finished my college. Why now, after so long? The only consolation is, I'm going on a vacation to India too very soon and she'll be back soon after I come back... Looking forward to those days.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Is it mean to back answer??

It was another sunny afternoon. I was in the park, as usual, with my son, playing. My son walked into this area where there are a couple of benches, some counting beads and some figures. There is this girl sitting in one of those benches, coloring a disposable plate. She may be a 2nd grader, or a 3rd grader perhaps (I am not good at guessing the age of kids here). My son and I started counting the beads and I was showing him the bus figure, pointing out to its wheels and started singing the nursery rhyme "The wheels on the bus", my son's favorite. Suddenly, this girl shouts at me "Will you keep quiet? I am not able to concentrate." I generally do not answer back to mean comments by strangers especially in public places... But today, I did not keep shut. I said, "Baby, this is a park and people will play, talk and sing. If you want silence, go to a library". I don't know why I made such a comment, that too to a small girl. I felt a little bad after saying that. May be if it was an adult, I might not have felt bad. If she had asked me to be quiet in a polite voice with a "please", I might have actually kept quite... But, none of this happened... I made a mean comment to a little school girl... Did I react the right way? Or did I over-react?

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

My child birth

I was pregnant with my first son (who is a year old now). My Husband, I and all folks back home were exited!!! My pregnancy was a breeze... I was able to do everything until the end and no discomfort in any way. We were awaiting the birth of our beautiful baby...

My due date passed and still no signs of labor. Some people said "Boys generally come early", which made me even more anxious. I was so bent upon having a natural birth. I had taken Lamaze classes, practiced the breathing techniques, did my exercises and was absolutely ready and waiting for labor to start. My mom assured me that her labor with me and my sister was not that difficult and lasted for about 6 hours total. That did give me some confidence.

We waited 10 days past my due date and still no labor and my doctor decided to induce me. It was a long 24 hour labor before I dilated completely and 3 hours of pushing and my baby was not out yet!! It was really rough and I lost a lot of blood. Then I ended up having an emergency C-section to deliver my lovely little son. The recovery was hard too. I had a double recovery from both my labor and C-section.

Why did I have to go through all this? No one in my family had a C-section until then. My mom, my aunts, my cousins all had natural births. Why me?? Even in case of a C-section, it could have been planned. Why did I have to go through all this pain and still end up with a C-section? Is it because I deserved all this? Is it because of my unknown sins???

After many many days of thinking, I realized that this was nature's way of showing me how difficult it could be to be a mom!!! To be patient and tender, giving and loving, and tough at the same time.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Hmmmm...

Life does change so much when you let someone else enter yours... So close to your heart and soul. Until then, you did not choose the people around you. You did choose your friends, but no one got as close to you as this one did and turned into the very special person of your life...

Have you ever pondered "Is this person the right one?? Or did I make a mistake??" I have, many times!! Has anyone else felt the same way any time?

You end up changing your life in small but noticeable ways to keep peace around. You try to accommodate new loved ones into your personal space. You try to think from this special person's point-of-view to please and surprise... But is it all worth it??

But after many hours or sometimes days of reasoning out, the final answer always seems to be "Yes!!!". Then all the wonderful memories - happy, sad, supportive and argumentative come flooding back and the answer is "Definitely Yes!! All worth it!!!".